Oh hi there,
It's a typical
Saturday night for me. My significant other (aka SO) is playing away in
his office on a new techy toy, and I'm watching a movie. What's on
tonight? Sadly I decided to cave and finally watch "Fifty Shades Of
Grey" .. so not even a little bit interested.
How on
earth do they have the energy to be that sexually active. I'm getting
way too old for this kind of thing. I may also be too pregnant for this
kind of thing... 6 months, with my first to be exact.
I thought I
had the sexual appetite of a 17 year old, but clearly it's more like
the sexual appetite of a 34 knocked up chick from Canada! I remember
reading these books several years ago, and feeling like they were
opening up a whole new world of empowerment for women around the smut
reading world.. now I think it's one long wet dream... with one of the
most unappealing story lines I've ever muster the energy to endure.
I
guess it's for the best.. I won't be eager to watch the next
installment, and that's good beacuase I'll have a new born here, and
I'll be trying my damnedest to finally lose weight..
Ahh
the dreaded "Lose Weight" dream.. I know, I know, it's not like I'm the first woman out here who has that dream.. mine may be a little
more necessary that most however. I started this pregnancy wearing a
2X, aka size 20. I know what you're thinking "Damn girl!". I get it, I
know it. I'm big.. I have a big butt, big gutt, and an even bigger
personality. I am the funny fat best friend, the one that every film
has, you know her, she's the one that never has a boyfriend, and loves
to poke fun at herself, is semi successful, and moderately pretty.
That's me, only I rewrote the script a bit, as I have a fella, and he's
pretty darn great, and we kind of like each other (like a whole lot..
like love!).
So now I'm the funny fat (not single)
best friend, who is preggers! Oh gosh, again I know what you're
thinking... "she got knocked up !?!" Yes, yes I did.. But it's okay. My
SO and I have been together for over 3 years, and had purchased a house
together (oh another script changer, I'm more than just semi
successful...) not too long before the inevitable passionate night that
led to his spawn taking residence in my womb... so now how does this
funny fat best friend move into the starring role? That's a tricky one,
you see she's got to be a fetching lass, (yes lass, I've got British
roots...), have a personality and a beauty that not only captivates the
audience, but also makes them want to be her.. and how does she do that?
she's got to be considered "thin" by society's standard. Now I'll never
be a size 2, but if I can get back to a size 10, I think I can pull the
wool over the audience's eyes far enough, that they won't notice my
extra 15-25 pounds of funny wobbly bits.
For now,
however, I'm just going to get bigger.. I have to fully prepare for
Mummy-hood.. I have a little man inside of me who needs an awesomely
amazing super Mummy (do you think I can pull off a cape? Or will it make
me look wider....)..
Please, feel free to join me, mock me, gawk me, and stalk me, in my journey to become a super yummy funny Mummy!
